Please, keep your thumb tucked in...

There aren't too many experiences in my life that I can put in the surreal category. However, this week I have had three of them. Yes...that is 1...2...3!!! And really, I can't think of a single one in my 30 years up until now that even comes close to any of these.

When I first saw project prepare on my semester schedule, I was a little taken back. Up until about 4 weeks ago, I thought I had a project to do that no one had told me about. Oh no, it's a group who come it to educate & prepare students for the real world of male & female pelvic exams along with female breast exams. I think they like to call themselves sex educators or something along those lines (they get paid big bucks for this, as they well should).

I had heard horror stories about other students' experiences. We were put in groups of 3 or 4 students with one of these actors/educators. The surreal part comes when they are showing us, the students, how to do the exam on themselves. Then we have to do the exam on the instructor. Now, it's a little weird when they tell you not to look at their face but to look at the body part you are suppose to be examining. Oh, & as you are touching their junk they are saying "yup, that's the right place can you feel it." And, I had better not forget the jokes & laughing while your hands are where they should never be. The lady who I had to do the breast exam on was BIG, & I mean big as in 2 small children residing on the front of her chest. I found that in all exams it was best for me to put on my game face & go to my happy place; I just detached myself from the situation.

We were educated on how to talk to the patient & how to make the patient as comfortable as possible. Here are some things that I learned...
1. Whatever you do, do not use the phrase "spread 'em." It has a negative connotation for some patients.

2. There is to be no "cutting" with your fingers, as in a scissor motion, just a sweeping like a windshield wiper.

3. Use plenty of lube.

4. Caution...hemorrhoids below!!!

5. And, whatever you do...DO NOT release the speculum until you have pulled it out a little; it can be very painful, or so I've been told. Don't worry I did it correctly.

I found out that I'm a great ovary finder (even though I couldn't feel a thing), & I can do a DRE without any discomfort to the male patient. Overall, I can say that it was a good experience, & they made the situations very comfortable & easy to ask questions. However, it this whole experience has confirmed to me that I don't want to be in a practice where we have to do any of these exams.

Oh...& PLEASE, remember to keep your thumb tucked in at all times!!!